Forgiveness

One of the greatest gift in life is to learn how to forgive.

Forgiving is the act of giving in and letting go of a certain strong feeling that you held. At least that's what it feels like to me. I don't know to be humored by this, or cry. This act of forgiveness sounds so easy, yet.. it's probably one of the hardest things a human being has to do in my eyes. Because to forgive, it comes with the words forget. In my eyes, if you forgive someone, and not forget it, you're never truly forgiving them. You're still holding something, a small piece of that will always be with you. It's not a clean piece of meat that you can cut away and toss if you choose to ever do so.

Today, while laying in the grass on the hill at the quad of my school, with 6th period almost half done, I see a girl. A girl, one from my past, one that I had swore to always remember no matter how long it was. She's changed, and certainly I have changed. She was someone who I felt disgusted with knowing the pains and troubles she caused myself in my younger days. But looking at her today, hearing that she has a wedding in two weeks, and soon due in May with her baby...I just can't find the hate in me. I couldn't stand her back then, I probably still can't now, but somehow, I still wish she finds that happiness.

Everyone deserves to be happy, depending on what mistakes they have made in their lifetime. Young girls do stupid things. Human beings are suckers to being stupid. And I wonder, with the other people in my life, when will I get a chance to look at them, and come to terms with myself. Terms stating, it's time to let go & forgive. And simply to lose those memories. They seem so hard and unbelievable now. But after seven years, and I'm able to come at peace and silently wish my once enemy a happy life. Then I'm confident that one day I will for those that I once loved so dearly, it will just take time. Possibly a long time. But, hope.

Love Always,
Thuy a.k.a Angel

Finals. School. Life.

Life is so busy.

At least that's how it feels as of late.

College, love, life, and school all mixed into one big blender. Finals is two days away, and I'm so unsure about this gamble. Well at least the gamble of my two last classes of the day. I'm taking time out today to write a little blog to organize my thoughts for a bit. I feel so tired. I'm pretending not to be stress at the time being, so I can just get through it all.

I wish for spring break to come already...except, I'm still stuck with work even then. lol. How sad? My life is reduced to school work, remembering to balance a healthy relationship, making deadlines for colleges, biting back at dino-parents who are out for my blood when I can't design their senior ads a certain way. Sheesh, I'm human, give me a break please. I have a life in between all that, add on volunteering every two weeks or so. Gladly I have not knocked out with a cold or something. Hmmm, I don't k now what else to do at the moment. Surely not that AP Stats packet, or better yet four last chapters ... ehh... well I'd say 3 and 3/4's chapter left more like. The book 'First Fruit' seems so boring to read. But not as boring as 'The Stranger'. Both too religious in some form of my taste. Understanding a religion is hard on it's own, but feeling like the book is trying to make you believe in the religion itself is too much. At least to me.

Finals, "AHHHHH." Yeap. Talk about death note right there. Hoping with all my heart I will pass, even if I have to crawl across the line. >:[ lol. What an unhappy feeling that is. I'm staying up late too much as of late. That's highly unhealthy, plus that fact that I'm too busy during school to eat and everything. Anyway, this moment of escape needs to be cut short. I need to get back to reality and finish this pile of consuming work.

Love Always,
Thuy a.k.a Angel

Saturday, July 13th

Summer is shortening by the minutes, the hours, the day. There are still too many decisions still to make. Too many possiblities, but very few that would work completely. I'm reaching out towards a fog of darkness. Blindly searching. E s c a p e. But where to. . .

Its 1:11am for my hubby's time ^^, make a wish.

Is there one day. . where you'll forget me? Would my face fade along with old age? My heart tightens at the thought. What to do, what to think. I wish to read into your thoughts. See into the deepths of your heart. Time will always exist. Though long. . . and forever lasting.

It's Saturday

I miss him.
I think that explains everything, or at least. It should<3

School's Almost Over

So. School's almost over and there are still many things to be done. I took my SAT2 yesterday. It was hard >.> lol, but I'll live. I'm pretty relaxed at this moment of my life. But I'm sure I won't be by tomorrow. There are somethings that I am sooo over with. :] I hate to break it to those that want to bring me down, but I hold all the cards to play a mean game. I enjoy competition as much as anything else in my life. Yesterday could've been called for the 2nd worse day in my life. But I lived through it, and didn't let it get to me. I actually was sitting in the sun listening to my ipod and enjoying those moments to myself. While I thought about things. I shouldn't care. & I don't care. lol. It's a win. Sorry for bad first impressions, but I didn't live to be part of your expectations. I have mine. Ones that are much higher then what you can ever expect out of me. And this is what makes me win. Because I'm s t r o n g e r, and you're just playing in the dark now ;].

Let the summer begin.

Thoughts #3

As time tick by, I can't help but wonder what now. I miss you very much, indeed, that I do. Nothings the same without you here. It just seems very different. Hurry and come back, I'll be waiting..

<3

I miss you Anh.

Thoughts #2

Sitting here, currently listening to fruit's basket song on my xanga.

I don't know. I guess I understand this is how he feels, when I'm at school or out. There are too many thoughts can run through a person's mind. Sad ones, happy ones, or even .. lonely ones.

He'll be gone for a few days, but I feel like a piece of me is missing more then it already is. It reminds me of when he moved to Georgia, or when I escaped away to Vietnam for 3 weeks. Memories of how great it felt to be in contact at least with one person you love. Especially the one you love most is special.

I honestly envy many couples, who have the chance to embrace their lover, or just to see their love smile. I still have to wait. While others abuse and destory what little or any love that can be created between two human beings. I can't tell him enough, how much I love him each day. Even when we're together and spending time. I miss him dearly. I know when we'll be together in each other embrace and I'll have my head on his chest catching his fragile heartbeats. I'll still miss him. Because...
Ilovehim.